HUMOROUS FUNNY
Humorous/funny
Q. I have heard that these bikes would barrel roll due to gyroscopic forces if given enough air time, True? A. We are currently building you a ramp for this test, please contact a moderator for his choice of insurance agent for you.
Q. I noticed that a lot of Harley riders don't wave, any particular reason? A. Most are so concerned about their bike that they don't want to lose concentration. After all 95% of all Harleys ever made are still on the road, the other 5% made it home. It’s also been rumored that it requires two hands to stay on these bikes.
Q. My wife is getting me a tube of Honda "Moly 60 Paste" Molybdenum disulfide for my birthday. How should I respond? A. Don't ask questions....she knows! After profuse thanking, use it to coat the splines in the rear wheel when you remove it.
Q. My brother-in-law says I need to set the timing on my bike. How do I do this? A. Timing is essentially set at the factory and doesn't need to be or can be adjusted by the owner. A slight adjustment is possible on GL models.
Q. My spouse has been told that these models multiply in their garages. What can tell her to quell the fears? A. While this is sometimes true, it doesn't always happen. And in most cases the concerned spouse is away from the house when the birthing occurs. The exact mechanism of how this happens is unknown. There are documented cases of 500's begetting 650 models, but very few turbos spawn CX500's. More study is necessary. We are seeking volunteers for a motion camera setup in their garage for the next 5 years.
Q. Why are there so many Canadians on the forum from a relatively small population and limited riding season? A. Perhaps their sense of self reliance and a better educational system allows them to appreciate these bikes more. And cabin fever.
Q. Does owning a transverse twin really make me more attractive to the opposite sex? A. Absolutely, this is the main reason spouses attempt to limit you to only one or two of these bikes, the competition for you would otherwise be fierce.
Q. Will I be as smart on these bikes as you guys are when I'm as old as you are? A. Very likely, except that the bikes will then be turning 150, and oil will have disappeared decades before.
Q. I went to a old Honda shop auction, and purchased dozens and dozens of 650 side covers and seat cowls. All are NOS. What should I do? A. These are almost worthless, but rather than polluting a landfill, contact me and I can do a proper disposal for you.
Q. Why do crowds gather around my bike when I stop for a break? A. Experts are undecided on this. Some say tight blue jeans can cause this, others blame inherent beauty, charm, and fond memories. (Of the bike, not you)
Q. I was raised on a farm and taught to tighten nuts and bolts on combines as tight as I could get them, then add a quarter turn, same with bikes?
A. You may become a frequent poster to this forum. All nuts and bolts have a specific torque that if exceeded could snap the bolt. Get a small torque wrench and use it. If the torque is unknown, a good rule is to hold the 1/4" drive ratchet in your palm and only grip the head while turning.
Q. I look like a idiot when riding my twisted twin because I am grinning all the time, and bugs stick to my teeth, any suggestions? A. Several solutions: Full faced dark helmet, spray Pam on your teeth, or have an extra set of teeth made for when you stop.
Q. Do "loud pipes save lives"? A. The answer may depend on where it is asked. In a biker bar, opinions could be different than the Amish Rally. Perhaps the greatest benefit is the constant supply of OEM Harley mufflers that is caused by people chasing this probably false goal.
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